wren and I met a couple in game that are into the lifestyle. W/we exchanged fetlife profiles. The young lady from the other couple had several photos up of her tied up. wren and I discussed about ropeplay and W/we are both very interested in it. I had a few ideas for things to try, even tho W/we are so far apart. Today I received a text from wren asking if she could call me after her class because she had an idea. I let her know that I would call her at home. When I called she asked if I wanted to see pictures of her tied up, or if our talk about ropeplay was just me expressing an interest in it. My jaw dropped. My little wren who was so worried I would not like how she looked a month ago, who until a week ago had not sent me a picture that I hadn't told her to take was now offering me pictures of herself tied up. wren explained that she had a couple friends that are into ropeplay, and she could ask them to do some rope bondage on her and take pictures for me.
SHE IS WANTING TO TAKE PICTURES FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am ecstatic. Grinning from ear to ear since we talked. This is a huge step for My wren in overcoming that ghost that haunts her. I have worked hard to help her see herself as I see her, and its paying off. I am so immensely fucking proud of her right now!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Without thinking
When wren and I first started our little journey together one of the things I required of her was to ask permission before being away from the computer while we were in game together. If she needed to afk, switch computers, go lay down, do chores for a bit, whatever it might be she was to ask first. It wasn't easy for her to remember at first. There were exceptions of course. If I didn't respond in a certain amount of time, if it was something that couldn't wait, or an emergency. It even led to her first time being disciplined. We were moving from one area to another in game. She said be right back and poof she was offline. Leaving me standing in an area I would rather have gotten past. Didn't know what was going on, or how long she would be gone. she had just gone to swap computers, but when she returned we had a talk about it, and she was informed that not doing as she was told would have consequences.
The next day I let wren know that she was going to be disciplined for what had occurred the night before. From previous play I knew her breasts are very tender. wren had managed to keep clothespins on the actual breast, not nipple or areola, for only one minute. That was the limit of what she could take. As a way to give her something that would help her remember to ask before disappearing I had her put a single clothespin onto the bottom curve of each breast, straight down from the nipple. I told her to leave them on for exactly one minute. I could have said longer, but this wasn't a punishment. I just wanted something that would help her to remember. After that night she hasn't forgotten a single time.
Last night wren ate something that just did not agree with her. she had a pretty bad tummy ache. she asked me if we could forego the having to ask permission before going away from the computer for the night. I told her yes. Throughout the night though whenever she needed to get up from the computer she would always ask permission first. Several times i reminded her that it had been decided that she didn't need to ask tonight. Yet every time she needed to get up she asked. she had gotten to the point where she couldn't not ask. It was done without thinking. she was very proud of herself when she realized this, and so was I.
One of the first things I had given wren as a general rule was she was to refer to herself in the third person when she and I talked. she was to refer to herself as wren. Not I or me. it was tough for her to remember, and she really worked hard at it. It bothered her when she forgot, because she wanted to please me so badly. One day when talking with other people in game she referred to herself as wren. I can't remember the exact words, but something along the line of "wren would like, or wren thinks... I waited a minute to see if she noticed what she had done and when she didn't I pointed it out to her. It was a huge weight off her shoulders, because she could see that even though it was tough to remember to refer to herself as wren at times she was starting to do it without even thinking. She was a very happy little wren that night.
Draugluin
The next day I let wren know that she was going to be disciplined for what had occurred the night before. From previous play I knew her breasts are very tender. wren had managed to keep clothespins on the actual breast, not nipple or areola, for only one minute. That was the limit of what she could take. As a way to give her something that would help her remember to ask before disappearing I had her put a single clothespin onto the bottom curve of each breast, straight down from the nipple. I told her to leave them on for exactly one minute. I could have said longer, but this wasn't a punishment. I just wanted something that would help her to remember. After that night she hasn't forgotten a single time.
Last night wren ate something that just did not agree with her. she had a pretty bad tummy ache. she asked me if we could forego the having to ask permission before going away from the computer for the night. I told her yes. Throughout the night though whenever she needed to get up from the computer she would always ask permission first. Several times i reminded her that it had been decided that she didn't need to ask tonight. Yet every time she needed to get up she asked. she had gotten to the point where she couldn't not ask. It was done without thinking. she was very proud of herself when she realized this, and so was I.
One of the first things I had given wren as a general rule was she was to refer to herself in the third person when she and I talked. she was to refer to herself as wren. Not I or me. it was tough for her to remember, and she really worked hard at it. It bothered her when she forgot, because she wanted to please me so badly. One day when talking with other people in game she referred to herself as wren. I can't remember the exact words, but something along the line of "wren would like, or wren thinks... I waited a minute to see if she noticed what she had done and when she didn't I pointed it out to her. It was a huge weight off her shoulders, because she could see that even though it was tough to remember to refer to herself as wren at times she was starting to do it without even thinking. She was a very happy little wren that night.
Draugluin
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Made me smile
My wren made Me smile today. Well she makes Me smile everyday, but this was one of those special moments. When she got home from her class I knew she needed a little relaxation. I instructed her to strip down to her panties ( panties stay on during that time of the month) and dance absolutely carefree for 10 minutes. Now I thought that was an easy instruction. Well I failed to take in the submissive factor. I immediately got a text back from wren asking if it was ok if she listened to music while she danced. Now I had expected that she would just want to listen to music when she danced, but I didn't specifically say music was ok the first time. The thought of My pretty little wren dancing around the room with no music just made me smile. Well I did give her permission for music.
Afterward I asked her if she was more relaxed and she said yes. I have instructed her to dance the same way every day( minus the panties when her monthly visitor is gone) after class to relax her. math isnt a very easy subject for her, but she has to have this class to move on to her degree work. It will make a good way to relieve some of her stress from class.
Draugluin
Afterward I asked her if she was more relaxed and she said yes. I have instructed her to dance the same way every day( minus the panties when her monthly visitor is gone) after class to relax her. math isnt a very easy subject for her, but she has to have this class to move on to her degree work. It will make a good way to relieve some of her stress from class.
Draugluin
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The next step
My wren received her training collar and cuffs on Thursday. I ordered them from The Collar Factory and am very pleased with how they look on her. She knew they were coming and had been waiting anxiously. Her class on Thursday was cancelled and she told Me she would be camping out the mailbox all day. In My mind I pictured her perched atop the mailbox like a vulture waiting for the poor unsuspecting mailman to come by. She texted Me when the package arrived as she had been instructed to do. I called her and could tell she was dying to open the package.
Now here is where My inner sadist kicked in. I teasingly suggested that it might be better if I had her wait till later that night to open the box. I could tell by the groan that came over the phone that making her wait would probably not be the best thing. I told her to open it, and it got very quiet on the phone. Now if you read the post before this one about super powers of a Dom...yeah I could hear her smiling. I have explained ot her that this is a training collar, not a permanent collar. I could hear the change in her voice when I told her that. I quickly explained to her that even though this collar wasn't a permanent on e that it didn't mean she wouldn't be getting a permanent collar. I told her that once W/we are sure that this is the right thing for both of U/us that I would be getting her a collar for her to wear always that would signify the lasting bond between us.
For anyone who is interested wren has started her own blog at http://littlwren23.blogspot.com. she will be posting three times a week. More if she wishes. I know she will appreciate having responses to any posts she makes.
Draugluin
Now here is where My inner sadist kicked in. I teasingly suggested that it might be better if I had her wait till later that night to open the box. I could tell by the groan that came over the phone that making her wait would probably not be the best thing. I told her to open it, and it got very quiet on the phone. Now if you read the post before this one about super powers of a Dom...yeah I could hear her smiling. I have explained ot her that this is a training collar, not a permanent collar. I could hear the change in her voice when I told her that. I quickly explained to her that even though this collar wasn't a permanent on e that it didn't mean she wouldn't be getting a permanent collar. I told her that once W/we are sure that this is the right thing for both of U/us that I would be getting her a collar for her to wear always that would signify the lasting bond between us.
For anyone who is interested wren has started her own blog at http://littlwren23.blogspot.com. she will be posting three times a week. More if she wishes. I know she will appreciate having responses to any posts she makes.
Draugluin
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Faster than a speeding bullet...
I told my wren tonight that Doms have super powers. She giggled, which is the same reaction I got from a subbie friend of mine. I told her I can prove it. She giggled again. God I love it when a woman giggles. So I went over how we are somewhere between 1500 and 2000 miles apart. Then I told her " I can hear you smile". She got quiet. next I told her " I can hear you blush. From 2000 miles away I can hear you smile and I can hear you blush." She was totally quiet now. I told her that most people can't do that standing right next to you, but a Dom can hear his subbie smile and blush from thousands of miles away.
Don't believe me subbies? Ask your Dom about it. Ask them if they can hear you smile, and hear you blush. Ask them if they can hear your knees go weak when they talk to you. Ask them if they can hear your pussy getting wet from thousands of miles away. Wren didn't believe it either when I first told her. She does now though.
Draugluin
Don't believe me subbies? Ask your Dom about it. Ask them if they can hear you smile, and hear you blush. Ask them if they can hear your knees go weak when they talk to you. Ask them if they can hear your pussy getting wet from thousands of miles away. Wren didn't believe it either when I first told her. She does now though.
Draugluin
Monday, May 30, 2011
Not really sure how to title this
It's 6:30 in the morning. I haven't slept. There is just too much going on in my head right now. This has been a hard night for me. My wren cried tonight. I feel like I have failed somewhere. I've missed something. I've let her down.
She and I play Rift. An online game. It's where we met. It's where a lot of our time together is spent. We text a lot during the day and i make sure to call her at least once a day, but Rift is our hanging out time while we are apart. I logged into the game tonight to make sure she was around, and then I called her. I told her I had a question to ask her and I wanted her to answer honestly. I wanted to make sure she gave me her answer and not the answer she thought I might want to hear. I told her I would be placing the order for her training collar, and cuffs the next day, and I asked her if she was absolutely sure this is what she wanted. Us. Me as her Dom, she as My sub, and everything that comes along with that commitment. She said she was pretty sure. I responded "pretty sure?". She quickly told me that " No, she was absolutely sure it was what she wanted. I could tell in her voice how excited she was.
We got off the phone after a little bit and went back to the game. I took care of the daily things I do in game. She was busy leveling an alt in a group with one of our guildies. Her college classes start back up on Tuesday so we discussed an earlier bedtime for her so she wouldnt be dead tired getting up at 6am ( yes she is a lot younger than I am). ten Pm her time which would be midnight my time We roleplayed with some people we know in game for awhile before she went to bed. Everything was ok at that point I thought.
I went back to the game to finish some things. One-thirty my cellphone buzzes from a text message. I look and its wren asking me if I got the picture. Now my first reaction was why the hell is she still up. my second thought was what picture and why had she sent me a picture. I had not asked her for one (wren is bigtime camera shy). I had not heard my cellphone go off before that, but she had sent me a picture. I hit download ( had to try it several times before it started to download. Fuck you Verizon.). Picture loaded. It was of her fully clothed. Taken in the bathroom mirror with her phone. The caption hit me hard. It read " wren decided that sir should have a real look at wren before he placed the order".
Now my wren is heavy. Hell I am heavy, and I have seen pictures of her before. I knew she was heavy. I sent her back a text asking her what about her did she think I wouldn't like. But a text wasn't right. This wasn't something for texts. So I called her. I could hear it in her voice. She was terrified. I could tell she had been crying. We talked. She thought that if I saw she was heavy I wouldn't want her. She was truly afraid that once I saw that picture that I would just walk away. The fact that I didn't realize she had sent a picture so hadn't responded for nearly twenty minutes only made it worse. I reassured her that I still wanted her. I still thought she was beautiful, and I had every intention of placing the order still. I did everything I could to put her mind at ease and sent her off to bed.
At first I was upset. After all the times i have told her I wanted her. All the times I told her she was beautiful and wonderful. That she would think I was so shallow as to not want her because she was heavy. The thoughts bounced around in my head like pissed off bees in a jar. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had failed her. When I met her wren didn't feel wanted. She didn't feel worth of being needed. When she was little her father was... distant. She didn't feel wanted I had promised her I would make sure that she never felt that way again. I promised her that I would always want her no matter what happened between us. I swore to her I would never let her feel unwanted... unworthy...unloved ever again. I don't know what I didn't do. I missed something. I'm sitting here wracking my brain trying to figure out what. I don't know what else I could have done, but it doesn't change things. I failed her. I failed her and she cried.
And now I am crying because I feel like shit. I'm her Dom. I'm supposed to protect her, and watch over her. I am supposed to make sure she knows... absolutely knows... that she has worth. That she is wanted and needed. I promised her I would, and I didn't keep my promise.
I failed her.
She and I play Rift. An online game. It's where we met. It's where a lot of our time together is spent. We text a lot during the day and i make sure to call her at least once a day, but Rift is our hanging out time while we are apart. I logged into the game tonight to make sure she was around, and then I called her. I told her I had a question to ask her and I wanted her to answer honestly. I wanted to make sure she gave me her answer and not the answer she thought I might want to hear. I told her I would be placing the order for her training collar, and cuffs the next day, and I asked her if she was absolutely sure this is what she wanted. Us. Me as her Dom, she as My sub, and everything that comes along with that commitment. She said she was pretty sure. I responded "pretty sure?". She quickly told me that " No, she was absolutely sure it was what she wanted. I could tell in her voice how excited she was.
We got off the phone after a little bit and went back to the game. I took care of the daily things I do in game. She was busy leveling an alt in a group with one of our guildies. Her college classes start back up on Tuesday so we discussed an earlier bedtime for her so she wouldnt be dead tired getting up at 6am ( yes she is a lot younger than I am). ten Pm her time which would be midnight my time We roleplayed with some people we know in game for awhile before she went to bed. Everything was ok at that point I thought.
I went back to the game to finish some things. One-thirty my cellphone buzzes from a text message. I look and its wren asking me if I got the picture. Now my first reaction was why the hell is she still up. my second thought was what picture and why had she sent me a picture. I had not asked her for one (wren is bigtime camera shy). I had not heard my cellphone go off before that, but she had sent me a picture. I hit download ( had to try it several times before it started to download. Fuck you Verizon.). Picture loaded. It was of her fully clothed. Taken in the bathroom mirror with her phone. The caption hit me hard. It read " wren decided that sir should have a real look at wren before he placed the order".
Now my wren is heavy. Hell I am heavy, and I have seen pictures of her before. I knew she was heavy. I sent her back a text asking her what about her did she think I wouldn't like. But a text wasn't right. This wasn't something for texts. So I called her. I could hear it in her voice. She was terrified. I could tell she had been crying. We talked. She thought that if I saw she was heavy I wouldn't want her. She was truly afraid that once I saw that picture that I would just walk away. The fact that I didn't realize she had sent a picture so hadn't responded for nearly twenty minutes only made it worse. I reassured her that I still wanted her. I still thought she was beautiful, and I had every intention of placing the order still. I did everything I could to put her mind at ease and sent her off to bed.
At first I was upset. After all the times i have told her I wanted her. All the times I told her she was beautiful and wonderful. That she would think I was so shallow as to not want her because she was heavy. The thoughts bounced around in my head like pissed off bees in a jar. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had failed her. When I met her wren didn't feel wanted. She didn't feel worth of being needed. When she was little her father was... distant. She didn't feel wanted I had promised her I would make sure that she never felt that way again. I promised her that I would always want her no matter what happened between us. I swore to her I would never let her feel unwanted... unworthy...unloved ever again. I don't know what I didn't do. I missed something. I'm sitting here wracking my brain trying to figure out what. I don't know what else I could have done, but it doesn't change things. I failed her. I failed her and she cried.
And now I am crying because I feel like shit. I'm her Dom. I'm supposed to protect her, and watch over her. I am supposed to make sure she knows... absolutely knows... that she has worth. That she is wanted and needed. I promised her I would, and I didn't keep my promise.
I failed her.
Monday, May 23, 2011
An honor received
I received what I consider to be a very rare honor. I have been chosen by a submissive to be her Dom. It is a strange set of circumstances that brought it about. Which I wont delve into without making sure she is ok with it first. It will be long distance for now, and that will present quite a challenge to maintaining control and keeping things exciting I am sure. However I do love a challenge and accept this one happily.. W/we have known each other for a bit over a month and while things are still in the developing and training stages I am confident things will go well. I have a lot to teach, and she is a very willing student.
I tasked her recently with spending a day or two to come up with three names that she felt good about from which I would choose what My special name for her would be. From her list I chose wren. When I asked her why she had chosen wren she responded that a wren was kind of plain, not flashy or colorful. Not anything special to look at. I knew this was how she saw herself ( yes My wren has doubts about herself, but W/we are working on them). When I told her My choice I explained to her that I chose it because while yes a wren isn't colorful or flashy like a peacock might be, it still has a beauty all its own. Even though a wren is a tiny little bird it can fly and soar just like an eagle can.
I tasked her recently with spending a day or two to come up with three names that she felt good about from which I would choose what My special name for her would be. From her list I chose wren. When I asked her why she had chosen wren she responded that a wren was kind of plain, not flashy or colorful. Not anything special to look at. I knew this was how she saw herself ( yes My wren has doubts about herself, but W/we are working on them). When I told her My choice I explained to her that I chose it because while yes a wren isn't colorful or flashy like a peacock might be, it still has a beauty all its own. Even though a wren is a tiny little bird it can fly and soar just like an eagle can.
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